Thursday, February 2, 2012

Heres comes the New Baby

As most of you know were having another baby due August 20th! Eleanor doesn't quite get it yet but Trevor has taught her where the baby is and I have her talk to it everyday. We are calling it the New Baby. We should learn the gender in late March. Everyone always asks do you want a girl or a boy and I'm not lying when I say I want a healthy baby carried to term. People always ask too if this is baby #2 and I don't know what to say to that. Are they asking how many I have at home now or how many pregnancies? I always just say #2 but if I loose this one is it still #2? I feel bad not including our first little angel into the number scheme of babies but its just too much to explain all at once.
I love being pregnant. Morning sickness and all. There is just something wonderful and sacred about being pregnant. I am almost sure that I felt the baby move last week but its hard to tell when I am only 12 weeks. I felt our first baby move at 16 weeks and Eleanor at 14 weeks. They say everything happens faster the more babies you have. Who knows though it could have just as easily been gas. I feel sometimes like I am on a sea saw and balancing between being really happy and wanting to get everything ready and then being scared and thinking I should wait till I'm farther along.
Our new Doctor is Dr. Judd and he is really nice. He delivered Trevor and all but one of Chris's kiddos. He was also Heather (my sister in laws) doctor too. He is really nice and really chill. Which kind of worries me a little bit. I feel like if he is this chill is he really taking me and my history seriously and giving me the treatment I need? Hes a great doctor and has been doing this a long time and what he says makes lots of sense but I still worry. Trevor has all the confidence in him. I have the go ahead to exercise and work at home just like normal but I'm still careful. I don't want to push myself.
This all makes lots of sense to everyone who knows my past but I don't know how many of you do. We had our fist baby, Eden in September 2008. I was 21 1/2 weeks pregnant and I went into labor. My water broke at home and I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Early the next morning she was born. She was tiny and to us perfect in every way. She even looked a lot like her daddy. She didn't live but she isn't lost or gone but with our Father in Heaven waiting for us. I don't like the term "we lost our baby" cause I know where she is.
Come February that next year I was pregnant with Eleanor. We met with a specialist twice a month starting at 18 weeks I got shots every week and I still went into preterm labor at 33 weeks. I was in the hospital for a week but got sent home just in time for my baby shower. I was put on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I carried Eleanor to term and even had to be induced. I had low amniotic fluid. They had to break my water too. I said yes to my nice epidural and spent my labor napping while Trevor did homework and my mom watched TV. It came time to push and out she came after 3 pushes. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. The nurse told me that it wasn't usually that easy and well getting to where I was then I didn't that that it had been easy to hold my little girl in my arms and to take her home with me.
I have never done this on my blog. I usually just post pictures with quotes by them but today I needed to share. I am a happy person by nature and I am so thankful that we get to have another baby even if it isn't for long. I do still worry and have days where I miss my little Eden though. I have a deal with the big man upstairs he tells me when its time for us to have another baby, cause he knows best, then I tell Trevor, we pray about it, and then we have a baby, done and done. I trust that the Lord will take care of our family and no matter the outcome I know that by doing as the Lord has asked it will all work out the way the Lord planed it. I sometimes wish that things would work out the way I plan it. In the end though I am hopefully a better more faithful daughter of God and a little bit more the way he would have me be by listening and following His counsel.